What You Need To Know About Cliques

One of the biggest anxieties that we face when going to our first day of school is whether or not we will make friends. When we first wake up, we dress to impress knowing that first impressions are a crucial aspect towards meeting new people and establishing friendships. We drive to school, and as we say goodbye to our moms, we shut the car door leaving the comforts of home behind us. As we walk into the school, we scan the hallways looking at all the other students, wondering if we see any familiar faces. If we’re lucky, there will be a few kids from the previous year that we can stick with until we get use to the new school system; but if not, then it becomes a battle of awkward introduction, misunderstood eye contact and over-awareness of our own behavior until 3 o’clock. Making new friends can be a pain, but it must be done in order to find a place to fit in for the rest of the year. Being the social creatures that we are, we need to do what we must to make friends.

When it comes to the first day of school, everyone is in the same situation: looking to click into a clique. First thing we must understand is that a clique is a small group of people with shared interests or other features in common, who spend time together. Although this generally sounds like a positive thing, there is a differentiation between good cliques and bad cliques. The good cliques are the groups based of mutual interest where everyone is free to be himself or herself. These groups tend to be categorized by their common interest; for example, the Jocks, the Chess Club, the Cheerleaders, the Art Kids, etc. It is not bad to be identified as a group so long as you are free to be yourself. These friend groups click together and build each other up through mutual appreciation for who the other people within the group are. One way to identify whether or not you are in a good, healthy clique is to ask the question ‘Is who I am as a person adding to the group or do I have to change myself to fit in?’ If your answer was that you’re a positive addition to the group, then chances are you’ve made a great choice for friends. If you feel like you notice yourself changing for the clique, it might be time to bounce to another group.

You can notice whether or not you’re in a bad clique simply by how that clique interacts with one another. Bad cliques are typically those groups that use exclusive friend groups as means to gain power through popularity. You must watch out for these cliques because typically those involved are not actually friends but rather competitors in a constant battle for who is better than everyone else. A major reason for such competition is because teenagers want to hide their insecurities and be accepted; but rather than dealing with their insecurities they look down on others to make themselves feel better. This is a major issue because middle school and high school are already difficult developmental years. When cliques are bashing on cliques it lowers the self-esteem of everyone involved. In order to avoid this harmful behavior, try to be inclusive and friendly towards anyone in need of a friend. Cliques can be a positive thing when created around mutual interest, individual appreciation and genuine friendship.